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یہ صفحہ اردو میں بھی موجود ہے۔ زبان کی تبدیلی کے لیے نیچے بٹن دبائیں۔
Question:
Assalamu Alaikum. I have a question for my close friend. When he was 9 or 10 years old (third or fourth grade), or around 18± years of age, he used to sleep with his mother. Due to a bad society, he learned about sexual relations in school etc., so one night while he was sleeping with his mother, he touched her private part with lust while his mother was asleep. Recently they heard about ‘Hurmah-e-Musaharat’ (prohibition of marriage due to foster relationships), so he is very depressed by the thought that his parents’ marriage is broken. He had already repented for this, but due to whispers (waswasa), he is unable to focus on his work or prayers.
Answer:
بِاسْمِ اللہِ سُبْحَانَہُ وَتَعَالَى، الَّذِي عَلَّمَ الْإِنْسَانَ مَعَالِمَ الدِّينِ، وَأَنْعَمَ عَلَيْهِ بِحَقَائِقِ الشَّرِيعَةِ وَالتَّمْكِينِ
It should be clear that for the prohibition of marriage through fosterage (Hurmah-e-Musaharat) to be established, several conditions must be met. If even one of these conditions is not found, then the prohibition will not be established. Those conditions are as follows:
- The touch must be without a barrier, i.e., there should be no cloth etc. in between, or the intervening cloth etc. should be so thin that body heat can pass through it.
- Touching hair that hangs down from the head will not establish the prohibition; rather, the prohibition is established only by touching hair that is attached to the head.
- At the time of touching, desire (shahwa) must arise in both parties or at least one of them. For a man, the criterion for desire is that his penis becomes erect, and if it was already erect, then it increases. For sick or old men who cannot get an erection, and for women, the criterion for desire is that a state of excitement occurs in the heart and the heart experiences pleasure; if the heart was already excited, then the excitement increases.
- The desire must be concurrent with the touch. If desire does not arise at the time of touching, but arises later, then it is not considered, and the prohibition will not be established.
- Ejaculation should not have occurred before the desire subsided. If ejaculation occurred, then the prohibition will not be established.
- The age of the woman must be at least nine years, and the age of the man at least twelve years.
- If the person touching is a woman and she claims desire, or the person touching is a man and he claims desire, then the husband must have a strong presumption (ghalib guman) that the news is true, and he must also verify it. Since this claim invalidates the husband’s right, mere claim is not enough; rather, the husband’s strong presumption or the presence of sharia witnesses is necessary.
Therefore, in the presented scenario, we should see whether all these conditions were met or not. In the question, the age is not clear, and the nature of the touch is also unclear. But as far as can be understood from your question, accordingly:
1. This touch was not without a barrier; rather, it was a touch where the mother did not become aware. So if this is the case, the condition is not met, and the prohibition will not occur.
2. Or if this incident took place before the boy completed 12 years of age, then the condition is also absent, and the ruling of prohibition will not apply.
3. Or if there is no certain knowledge of the complete detailed situation, i.e., he does not remember what happened at that time and whether all the conditions of prohibition were met or not, then there is doubt in it, and the principle is: «اليقين لا يزول بالشك» i.e., certainty is not removed by doubt. Therefore, in this case as well, the parents’ marriage remains valid and intact, and the prohibition of marriage through fosterage is not established.
However, the mentioned act is in itself impermissible and a sin, even if the prohibition of marriage through fosterage was not established. Therefore, repentance and seeking forgiveness are necessary for it, and since the questioner has already repented, it is hoped that Allah the Almighty will accept his repentance and forgive him. After that, repeatedly thinking about this and being worried is not correct; rather, it should be considered a whisper (waswasa) and ignored, and he should focus on his religious and worldly routines, especially acts of worship. And in the future, he should make every effort to avoid such sins.
وَاللہُ بِالصَّوَابِ أَعْلَمُ، وَعِلْمُہُ أَصْوَبُ وَأَتَمُّ
